Dear God, I am hopeless, this feeling of touching the bottom, being alone and dealing with violent and bad people. I am screaming inside. Desperately need help to move on. I know there are many people out there who feel the same way.
A few months more and my plan is to be home, waking up in my cozy bed and having coffee with my mother. How I miss that. Hugging all those people who love me.
But how will I survive until then? There are no excuses anymore. No matter how much I am trying to be good with those people, nothing helps. I was bullied and treated so badly by many people here. I know tears won’t help me, but I can’t stop them. I don’t wish anyone anything bad but can’t stop wondering why jealousy and envy control some people. Lies, making plans to harm others.
How they can be happy when they are constantly thinking about me and my life?
If I can help them to make their lives perfect and forget about me, I would. I swear I would. I know those kind of people are unhappy and unsuccessful, insecure above all. They want power over us because they have none control over their own life.
Everything will pass, memories will fade, but the way they wounded me and laugh at me. Those scars will always remain. How they made me feel will always remain.
Many people especially kids can’t deal with constant bullying and many of them decided to take their lives away. This is not something we should ignore and often people do.
Many times I wished in those moments for a truck to come and crash me. Then again. I have my mother I am the only child. I will do everything to get over it. I am young and there is always some good things to hope for. If this is also happening to you think as something temporary. Look beyond what you see. This will not be your future.
I am an adult, living ina foreign lands, I was dealing with many different people all over the world, but it is the first time I am dealing with such hate.
As you may see, I am very sensitive, some people think that I am naive. Why? Shall I become cruel from all the lessons that these people thought me? Shall I change myself and poison my soul because of them? Shall I hate and lose my peace?
No, I want to be a better person, who treats everyone with respect.
There is a power that is above all of us. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. And if it is on my way because I have the power to overcome this. So do you.
If anyone is doing you wrong be kind, be brave. Do not explain yourself too much, do not try to convince them. Be who you are. Sooner or later your behavior will show what kind of person you are. Better you are, they will feel worse about themselves.
One day it will pass. Sometimes we have a choice to move on immediately from toxic people and sometimes we have to tolerate a certain time. Do not be discouraged. It will end
I will wipe my tears, hold my head straight, take care of myself and keep my peace.
I am not alone, so are not you. Try to find rest in your hobbies and things that make you feel good, talk with your loved ones. That helps me.